Hypocrite

at some point,
i find myself a hypocrite..

trying to laugh it off when i really dont feel like it..
trying to blend in when i obviously have nothing in common with them..
trying to be friendly and joke around when i get cold stares back..

all of it does not even affect me now..
it has become part of my life..

yes..

to be fake.


so as to make life easier.

i hate myself.
cause i dont find the strength in me anymore.
to be independent..
to be without friends and not feel a thing..
i guess its better to be someone else
that someone else whom everyone loves to be around with
to be the butt of all jokes..

FML.